If all you hear is poop ...

A daughter was sitting beside her mom and talking to her, but she couldn’t get her mom to respond to her questions. She kept telling her mom to turn her hearing aid up, but still no response. Finally, in exasperation, she reached over to her mom’s ear to turn the hearing aid up herself. When she put her finger to her mom’s ear, she saw a white capsule and pulled it out.

“Mom, is this your suppository?” the daughter asked.

“Why yes, I think it is.”

“Oh no, I think I know where the hearing aid is then!” the daughter exclaimed.

Sorry for the subject of the joke, but I wanted to use it to prove a point.

As humans, we are given many things that we need to use on a job. A drafter gets a drafting table and writing instruments. A football player gets pads, helmet, and cleated shoes. A police officer gets for the minimum a pad for tickets, uniform, badge and weapon.

The drafter sits at the table and uses the pencils, protractors and other curved instruments to create a drawing of whatever needs to be built. A football player puts on the articles of clothing that will keep him safe and help him do his job more efficiently. A police officer wears the uniform and puts a badge on it, while using the ticket pad and weapon to perform his tasks.

What would happen if the officer was a female and put the badge in her hair like a hairbow, etched the information onto her gun, gave it to the speeder, and beat the poor sap with the ticket pad if he gave her any trouble? I don’t think she would be able to do the job for very long, if at all.

However, you say she had everything that she needed to do her job, and she had them with her.

I’m not disputing that. I am saying that she didn’t use what she had been given properly, thus she wasn’t accomplishing anything.

Just like the little old lady in the joke at the beginning. Unless she had “poop for brains” and had the ability to talk out of the wrong end, as the old sayings go, she wasn’t going to accomplish anything either, although she had the tools to accomplish each task at each end.

We have to use what we’ve been given, and we have to USE them to begin with. Then we have to use them properly, as they were meant to be used.

If you’ve been given the “gift of gab,” use it to teach a group in a bible study or Sunday school class instead of gossiping about people and things that you shouldn’t even be mentioning.

Guys, if you are constantly trying to turn around in your pew/seat in church to see everything that is going on, try being an usher and you can keep up with what is happening and still help someone at the same time.

Ladies, if you are constantly “tsk-tsking” about how certain women have no skills in applying their makeup, and you have been taught how to properly do it, have a class during the week sometime and help them learn how to properly apply all of the items that are commonly used.

In other words, get the tools out of the wrong places and use them where something can be accomplished. Instead of being the problem, start helping others who are having problems or need help. Then you can get things accomplished that would only wind up in a bigger mess otherwise.