You might be in a country church if:
(1) The Call to Worship is ,"Y’all come on in!"
(2) The Preacher says, "I’d like to ask Bubba to pray for the
offering" - and five guys stand up.
(3) Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an
official church holiday.
(4) A member requests to be buried in his truck
because, "I ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get me out of".
(5) Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors had
to buy any meat or vegetables.
(6) A singing group is known as "The O.K. Chorale."
(7) There’s dried tobacco juice down both sides of the church van.
(8) The church directory doesn’t have last names.
(9) The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during
the summer and only so no one leaves them another bag of tomatoes!
(10) Baptism is referred to as "branding."
(11) There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
(12) Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
(13) High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to howling.
(14) People wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two
fish were bass or catfish.